Free the mind, not the nipple

{DISCLAIMER : In response to the backlash this article has received from some offended feminists, keep in mind that this is a critical view of some controversial campaigns that have relied heavily on sexuality to promote feminism. The article aims to judge the universal value of a fad that started in the U.S, and point out the flaws in aggressive feminism and its inadequacy in dealing with sexism}

There are a lot of social media trends that I simply don’t get. #HarlemShake, #SelfieWithDaughter, #HowToMakeAWomanCome, #SaintWest, #NorthWest, #Beliebers, #IceBucketChallenge, #RoyalBaby are some of the most confounding trends that have gone viral and left me feeling somewhat out of step with my own generation.

But the most pathetic trends are the ones that pretend to have a lofty purpose, like promoting a social cause.

Take #FreeTheNipple for example. I’m sure you’ve heard about this ludicrous trend, rather erroneously labeled a ‘feminist’ campaign. The shenanigans started in the U.S back in 2005 when activists began protesting against archaic laws about indecent exposure. Even within the country, different states have different laws about exposing female breasts. While in most States toplessness is a criminal offence, New York, Texas, Ohio and some others have legalized toplessness.

You might follow models, singers and actresses on instagram, twitter or facebook. Social media websites usually have strict policies against obscene content such as nudity and are flagged until the offending accounts are shut down. #FreeTheNipple Campaign however, which has been championed by advocates such as Miley Cyrus, Alyssa Milano, Rihanna, Cara Delevigne and Kendall Jenner (if you don’t know who any of these are, I’d like to take you out for dinner), aims at decriminalizing toplessness, promoting gender equality and fighting against sexist censorship in social media and films that make no big deal about male breasts but condemns exposure of female breasts.

A frequent comment made by supporters of this campaign, is trite stuff like “There’s no difference between  male breasts and a female breasts”

Yeah, sure. Until puberty happens.

Remember this?

o-ALYSSA-MILANO-facebook

Or this?

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Or this!

LAS VEGAS, NV - SEPTEMBER 21: Entertainer Miley Cyrus attends the iHeartRadio Music Festival at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on September 21, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Clear Channel)

Yeah, that’s all part of #FreeTheNipple.

The problem with such ill-concieved campaigns is that its negative effects far outweigh the positive ones. By exposing private moments of breastfeeding in a most unabashed manner, women claim that they’re trying to disassociate the image of breasts with sex, and make women’s bodies less liable to being objectified. Ironically, the ubiquity of female breasts in adult movies and porn, is exactly the reason why breasts have become sexualised.

Has anybody considered the fact that not posting titilating, semi-nude pictures on social media, might just help? Or perhaps, not taking nude pictures of yourself and saving them on iCloud might protect you from scandals such as the 4chan hack?

The idiocy of such trends that try to jump onto the ‘gender equality’ bandwagon, is not at all mitigated by the fact that celebrities support it. Celebrities are ignorant, image-concious and starving for publicity. Surely your ideas about feminism haven’t been inspired by what a celebrity lazily said in response to a random question posed by a bored journalist?

So tell me, do you consider yourself a feminist?

Oh yeah, absolutely. I’m a supporter of women. Jennifer Lawrence! You go girl! 

That’s it. End of Story. Exactly what that celebrity is doing for women’s rights, we don’t know squat about. As long as newspapers report it and they post a picture on instagram holding up a placard with an inane message which is vaguely pro-women, we’re going to follow the trend, because it’s cool.

Along with the clusterfuck that is #FreeTheNipple, other campaigns such as #PadsAgainstSexism have also emerged. This one, involved a bunch of students from Delhi University hanging up fresh sanitary napkins on trees along the streets with feminist quotes scribbled on them. Gee. How profound. I’m sure a rapist will think twice about raping a woman just because she’s menstruating. Because the only way to reason with a twisted, depraved mind is to use a shockingly intimate medium, like a sanitary napkin. What an idea Sirjee! 

Another banal, but amusing example of feminist campaigns gone wrong, is the #NoBraDay trend on twitter. Started in the interest of spreading more awareness about breast cancer and making women aware of how to examine themselves for lumps, the campaign quickly spiraled out of control when women all over the world started posting photographs of themselves wearing a tight top and no bra. Uh. Hello?! Your nipples peeking through your shirt, is not exactly what the Oncologist had in mind.

The intent behind feminism, is to free the mind, not our breasts (and some of us really need the support so enough about going bra-less okay?). Being a feminist is to broaden our outlook towards women, to overturn the tide of misogyny and to reset the skewed equation between both genders.

As an idea, using shock value and vulgarity to magically transform people’s sexist beliefs, possesses as much of an IQ as probably half a Kardashian. If you want to change misogyny, start with school. Start with sex ed and abuse workshops. Start with family values.

So do you get it now?

Take the blinders off.

But keep the Bra on.

 

 

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Published by: Abby

Abha is a final-year law student; She's a trainee family law advocate, a virtual speaker on sexual violence and a volunteer at the local legal aid cell. She enjoys listening to indie rock, reading romantic thrillers and eating Chinese food. She also loves her dog, but suspects her dog isn't too thrilled about that.

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113 thoughts on “Free the mind, not the nipple”

      1. How can I not? I remember you prancing around Gwalior in a fairly hyperactive state. Haha. Yes I do have some memories of Gwalior with you, and a very funny fancy dress competition too! Anyway, why don’t you e-mail me your contact details and whereabouts? I’ll get in touch with you soon!

  1. You don’t really sound like a feminist to me. No offense, but if we don’t use shock value, celebrities, or movements, NOTHING will happen. Plus, bras are idiotic and a way to keep women to “cover up.” You seem passionate about this topic.. But maybe a little too much. Bashing feminist movements will not improve feminism. I highly doubt you’re even a feminist by the way you speak. This post made me love the free the nipple campaign more. There is no difference between the NIPPLES of a man or woman. Women have more tissue, sure, but the nipple is the same. That’s what they were trying to prove. Sadly you couldn’t tell. I know you’re not trying to bash feminism itself, but your post suggests otherwise. I don’t know what other way you would advocate women’s rights. Asking nicely? Interestingly written but I thought I should comment to show the other side of the story..

    1. Maritza thank you! I’m keenly reading your comments and I feel you may have a point. Unfortunately, asking women to cover their breasts is not like the burqa which is oppressing women to such a degree that they have no freedom. My point is instead of asking women to cover up, ask both men and women to cover up their breasts. In case you didn’t get it, my point is- no nipples, please!
      And how do I suggest I would make changes? Well how about sex education in schools? Sexual abuse workshops? Instilling family values that don’t discriminate between girl education and boy education? I’m sorry if I’ve offended you in any way! But I come from a country with probably the highest number of child brides and a dangerously high rate of rape. In terms of relativity, exposing my nipples is probably NOT high on my list. But I see your point and I will definitely keep what you said in mind. 🙂

      1. The point is, men can’t cover their nipples if you ask them to, but women can uncover their OWN nipples. It’s either both genders cover theirs, or both uncover. We can’t force them to cover theirs, as it restricts their freedom, but women can choose what they want to do with their OWN body. Don’t worry, you didn’t offend me, I was just shocked that somebody could have such a view. I don’t know if you still live in India, but I live in America, which is known for it’s freedom, but it is still illegal in most states to show a women’s nipples when men roam freely. I’m sorry if you find breastfeeding offensive, but whether you like it or not, it is a natural fact of life that women do to FEED THEIR CHILDREN. This is shamed upon, and it needs to be stopped. You don’t get equality by asking nicely.

      2. I think I’d like to see both men and women cover their nipples. That’s the crux isn’t it? What we’re disagreeing about? I believe sexuality, voyeurism and nudity have never in the past nor in the present, achieved any huge leap in the evolution of equality. Asking someone to not take their clothes of, is NOT called restricting their freedom. It’s like expecting people not to fuck in public, or pee. It’s called privacy. And I’d like both sexes to respect that. And I’m sure the nipple-baring, bra-burning, male-bashing culture in America is thriving, but let me tell you. Americans are very fond of being cut off from the whole world and believing that what works for them, works for the world. It doesn’t. This article is very clearly reflective of that universal value of this article. Why do campaigns like HeForShe become global, but FreeTheNipple find acceptance in not even ALL the states of your country? Because it’s impractical to expect an impact using a form of activism that relies on thrills. I’m just trying to make that point, nothing else.

      3. Sexuality has never had a leap for equality because nobody has used it before. Rape is a problem that has to do with sexuality, as it shows that men are free to release their urges, and it is so common in America. It’s not privacy when a women is FORCED AGAINST HER WILL to cover up. That is shaming ONE gender only. “And I’m sure the nipple-baring, bra-burning, male-bashing culture in America is thriving, but let me..” LOL you’re too funny. Feminists are being overgeneralized as what you just said, and “let me tell you,” it is NOT thriving. FEMINISTS are being bashed, not men. I see that you’re trying to make a point, but once again, you haven’t understood mine. Too bad.

      4. You’re right it IS too bad. You’ve chosen nitpicking and personal attacks, I’ve stuck to my guns. (Chuckle, chuckle, guns and America). I think you should return to your campaign, and I’ll go fight against rape, abuse and violence, shall I? Good day 🙂

      5. Personal attacks? You have written a post about your OWN PERSONAL experiences… You’ll fight against rape, abuse, and violence, how? Asking nicely? Don’t make me laugh. Also, I never once said that I don’t fight for that either. I don’t only care about women’s bodies, I care for their freedom and their right to protect themselves from perpetrators. Have fun doing nothing to help! (LOL you don’t even live in America, yet you bash our campaigns…)

      6. I’m actually using a combination of law, counseling and education to fight it. I’m not saying your method doesn’t work in America, if it does, good for you. It won’t work here and in a lot of other nations in the world. If you don’t get that, well, I guess this is goodbye. 🙂

      7. I never once said that the free the nipple campaign is the only way to combat sexism? Did I say that? No, there are many ways to combat it, so you misunderstood me, once AGAIN. If you want to be a lawyer, good luck, because with that attitude, hating humans yet fighting for them, will get you no where. *sigh* the irony. It is goodbye. I don’t know why you keep replying?

      8. Why would I call someone a troll to make myself feel better? Who do you think I am, you? I’m calling you something based on your behaviour. Sticking to my point is not attacking readers. In fact the readers (as in you, basically) seem so affected by everything I say that I’m trying to help them understand my point of view. If you respond after this, I’m going to assume you’ve really gotten rattled.

      9. No, I’m really glad I’m not YOU! 🙂 I don’t attack everyone who comments on my blog… like you do. I’m not offended at all, in fact I’m enjoying this conversation, because I got to see the other side, you know, anti-feminism. YOU’RE the one who is offended and affected by ME, as to respond to every single comment I make. You’ll be the only one looking bad, and I’m sure other readers who read your comments will be stunned to how disgusting your words are. If you respond after this, I’ll be happy to know that you are immature enough to want the last word. You’re like one of those children in arguments where they go Nuh-huh, yah-uh, over and over until you get the last word.

      10. I do! But I’ve never been one to run away from a fight. I want my readers to see this, you have no idea of the overwhelming and heartwarming response I’m getting from my friends and family for conducting myself in so dignified a way. I reiterate, I respect and understand your opinions fully. But I’ll stick to mine. 🙂

      11. Run away? Being mature and not using childish responses is not running away. Of course you can try to prove to be “conducting yourself in a dignified way,” but that’s obviously not what you’re doing. You’re arguing just for the sake of arguing. I almost forgot what you were even talking about. I respect you, but calling me an atheist, troll, not a Buddhist, etc is NOT conducting yourself in a dignified manner. I don’t know why you keep responding, other than being offended by a reader who was simply disagreeing with your argument.

      12. I’m responding because I’m not afraid. You’re responding, however, because you seem very afraid of gumption. I’ve heard that about bullies. I’m taking note of it. 🙂

      13. Bullies? I didn’t realize that I was bullying you by pointing out the faults in your argument. I apologize if you think I was. 🙂 Feel free to delete my comments. I have grown a thick skin over the years (unlike you, obviously) so nothing you say fazes me. If anyone is the real bully though, it’s you. LOL what kind of a response is that? Don’t you have work to do? (Law student?)

      14. I do! In fact I have to get up early and speak on child sexual abuse to a whole bunch of people tomorrow!. Apology accepted! Goodnight! 🙂

      15. It was sarcasm lol but have fun with that! Too bad you don’t realize that you are at fault too… wow you wouldn’t even apologize, how mature. (It’s not night here, but sweet dreams sweetheart! 🙂

      16. Tut tut. Call me more names Maritza. You’re being a very low standard bully what with all the ‘idiot’ ‘confused’ and ‘egotistic’ 🙂

      17. God I didn’t want to have to do this. I’m going to have to block you now! God I hate this part. Thanks for the response though! This article is getting so many hits I never expected it. Plus I’m being trolled and bullied on my own blog. Thank you with my sincerest affection!

      18. Dear Abby 100% for trying but some will never get it. I have never understood why any woman correlates gender equality with the amount of skin displayed or who has the tightest blouse. I think what is intended is that the physical tissue of men and women is the same and has the same rights of exposure or not as the case maybe. Nothing to do with equal rights for the person as an entirety, just their nipples.

      19. Thank you! I wanted people to see that but they’re missing the point somehow. And I’ve noticed how people have not dared approach the other campaigns I’ve mentioned, probably because they know they’d be fighting a loosing battle there. Thank you again for being so reasonable about it!

      20. Totally agree with you Abha.
        Kudos for all your sanity and clarity of thought amidst all the clamour and mélange of ludicrous reasoning !!

  2. First off, the ASL challenge is for some disorder or disease. But that’s not what I want to talk about it. Free the mind? Don’t make me laugh. A man can walk with no shirt on and his nipples showing. A woman’s breasts are so sexualized that she is SHAMED if she walks with no shirt or bra. Tell me how that is equal? You are NOT a feminist, feminists believe in the social equality and legal equality of BOTH genders. You don’t fit that description…How is a woman feeding her baby wrong??? I bet your mom fed your ungrateful mouth with it so don’t act like they have no effect on you. Schools are telling girls to cover up! So…yeah I’ll start by changing school clothes so a little thigh can show on a girl. Girls don’t need to cover up their breasts! Boys don’t need to cover it up! You need to learn what this movement is really about and then you can squabble about it.

    1. Katlyn I’m so glad you dropped by! First off, tone it down- I’m a family law advocate and I’ve probably dealt with more actual cases of sexual abuse, domestic violence and rape than you have. Secondly, I’m a bit amused by your harsh comments. Seems like I’ve hit a nerve somewhere and I love that! If you feel the campaign is making such a difference, then more power to you. I’m sure your views on it are equally relevant, but I don’t jump down people’s throats when they have the temerity to express their opinions. Unfortunately, whether I’m a feminist or not, I can assure you of one thing. I am NOT an extremist like you are. I stick by what I said but I will definitely consider what you’ve said about the campaign and reconsider my views. Please rein in your outrage and try and be a kinder feminist. Good wishes 🙂

      1. 1. Did you see Martin Luther King being nice when he was fighting for equality? Did he go “Okay, I won’t do my speech..”. When you fight for equality, you aren’t sweet.
        2. How is not wearing a bra an extremist? Looks like you’re the harsh one. I’m going to point out that when celebrities wear topless shirts they cover the nipple, when men go out, you can see them. Not equal. I wasn’t even talking about abuse, you may be experienced in sexual abuse but not in your reading comprehension. This campaign shows women that they are equal to men in every way. Also, you call me dramatic when you write an ENTIRE post on how you’re not a feminist. Breasts don’t have to be covered, male and female. And I will keep fighting that because I’m sick and tired of people like you. People who don’t care about the social equality for women. Telling people to wear bras? I never tell people not to, I just tell them the inequalities I faced and the inequalities others are facing. Keep on your bra, I don’t care. But don’t go around parading and telling people to cover up. How is a nipple inappropriate? I can see men’s nipples everyday. Bras should be a choice. And no one should be shamed for not having one. You are shaming someone for a body part. Think about that and get back to me.

      2. Katlyn. I’m glad your tone has changed to conciliatory so we can both see different sides to the argument. Firstly, since you’ve mentioned Martin Luther King, I’m forced to mention one of my heroes who fought for equality. Mahatma Gandhi. He played nice. Very nice. Too nice. Turns out he championed the freedom struggle and lead us to freedom. So how about we forget the leaders for now and talk about you and me?
        2. I’m calling you harsh because of your tone, not your stand. You clearly support this campaign, but no supporter should be offended when their campaign is criticized. I am an egalitarian and when I fight for women I’m a feminist. When I fight for men I’m a masculinist. Have I made it clear for you? So calling me “not a feminist” is neither here nor there.
        3. I believe private body parts breasts, vaginas, penises should always be covered. No amount of exposure can shock people into changing their sexist values. I stick to my stand of being anti-nudity, anti-vulgarity and anti any kind of titillating gimmick that appeals more to the prurient and voyeuristic interests of people rather than freeing our society of misogyny and gender based discrimination.
        And about that part over keeping bras on or off. In the article if you will notice it was used as a punch-line in the interest of humour. It would be quite ridiculous if we started telling women to wear bras or not. That is not the point of the article. Regarding there being no difference between male and female chests, then let’s just ask everyone to keep their tops on. Frankly, I’m dealing with far too many severe cases of rape, abuse and violence to see the point of a campaign that only works in very few parts of the world. Try going topless in a country like India or a middle-eastern nation or a theocracy. TRY IT. You’ll see my point.

    2. I agree. This girl is so idiotic if she thinks that this post was worth reading. She can delete our comments any time but she chooses to respond because she likes arguing, and she is clearly offended by anyone who DARES to disagree with her. She keeps wanting the last word, like a child. She’s not a feminist, and she wants to be a lawyer, yet hates people? Wth…. So glad I found a fellow feminist on this mess she calls a blog.

      1. I know, she’s not a feminist. And don’t feminists like both genders? Wow, this girls a bit mixed.

      2. Ah…I get you. You are relentless…with insults. You are a bully. Are you pleased with yourself, Abbie?

      3. Dude come on! I said it was Abby! Abbie sounds like Abbie Pie. Like Tie or Pie. I’m actually standing up to bullies so I’m very pleased with myself yes. I’m so sorry I’m going to have to block you, you have my deepest sympathies for your clearly unbalanced mental state. Get well soon!

      4. Hahahha. Typical bullying tactics. I’m so glad you found each other! Gosh looks like I’ve really hit a nerve there. I wish you both the best! Goodnight! 🙂

      5. Again, how egotistic are you? You think it’s all about you, when in reality, I was talking about your ARGUMENT, not you. Why are you still commenting back? Wow, you’re truly offended by me. So funny!

      6. I’m confused. You’re still commenting on the article. But you don’t want me to reply. Question : Why are you still commenting on my article? All you’re doing is giving my blog booming stats!

  3. Here’s some information nobody asks for. Is male chests a sexy organ? I mean, everyone can find different organs sexy but some organs are more common in sexual taste, like breasts. I wonder if male chests have a similar role in females’ taste. If so, then perhaps we should cover up our chests too.

    Second, I think breastfeeding should stay indoors because it’s an unpleasant activity to watch. I wouldn’t want to watch people fuck or pee in public.

    Third, covering up is actually more sexy than not covering up. There’s a reason sexy lingerie and weird outfits exists. Teasing is often more arousing. I’m not sure if showing more breasts is going to increase objectification. I think objectification has more to do with how people think of sexuality anyway.

    I’m glad you find most memes moronic. It shows you’re smart.

    1. TheBrainInTheJar you’ve given yourself an appropriate title. I’m so glad someone reasonable and intelligent has read this one and commented. I second everything you just said! For some reason, privacy is being literally flung out of the door just to make a point. I think male breasts are sexy but I wouldn’t mind seeing less of them in newspaper and TV ads, movies and online. You’re absolutely right, the point we can make whilst keeping our tops on, is FAR more effective than the point we make by revealing our chests. Thanks for dropping by and I’ll be sure to check out more of your stuff! 🙂

      1. I agree with you that sometimes these campaigns take things too far, but you lose me when you compare exposing your breast to feed your child with exposing a vagina or penis or even exposing breasts just for the sake of it by wearing low tops and such. These are really not comparable. Perhaps you feel that when mothers feed their children they should cover up if they are outside, but that’s your opinion…and please don’t even do there asking someone to feed their child in a bathroom – or go there if you’re willing to take your food in the bathroom too. If you don’t like to watch, please don’t but you lose whatever point you’re trying to make by putting breastfeeding in the same class as all other nudity.

      2. If that’s what you think then I guess we know the exact point which we are disagreeing on. It’s not about putting breastfeeding in the same class. Nobody’s going to tell the mother to shush and go home. Obviously every civil person will give her her space. But will we appreciate it when she puts up a selfie on instagram breastfeeding her child? No. Only a lunatic would applaud that. Breastfeeding as a function? Absolutely normal. Breastfeeding as a trend? I’m sorry. That’s where YOU may have lost the point!

    2. I couldn’t help but reply. I just wanted to say that sleeping with someone or going to the bathroom in public is not the same as feeding your baby. It’s the most natural thing, why should she have to go inside to feed her baby? You don’t know her situation. When you say that you find covering up is arousing, I think it’s good that I don’t cover up then, I don’t dress for males. You dress for yourself. Tell me this, do you dress for your girlfriend/wife? Do you have to? When you say that covering up is sexy, that’s a personal opinion. My point is that neither genders should be shamed for a body part. A natural body part that you are born with, what’s next? Will an arm be sexualized and shamed?

      1. And, just another question since you mentioned breasts and how natural they are. What next? Exposing your vagina and your penis? Shall we declare the rest of the street you live in, nudist? Is that what’s it come to?

      2. It’s a body part that you are born with. Women know that men have private parts and what it looks like so it’s no surprise. It’s like pretending you don’t go to the bathroom, we all know you do.

      3. It’s unhygienic so no. That was a comparison. You picked one thing out of my comment because you know I am right. Good luck with that life of yours.

      4. I’m merely questioning the extent you’ll go to over justifying breastfeeding. Turns out, you’ll stretch the logic beyond reason. Fair enough. Good luck with.. um… well trolling? 🙂

      5. Breastfeeding is feeding your baby like from a bottle. Trolling? More like fighting for equality. Are you going to call everyone a troll for disagreeing with you? Wow! 🙂

      6. Are you going to troll everyone who speaks with better manners, more respect, more compassion, more understanding, than you? If so, then please, continue replying 🙂

      7. I wouldn’t say that you had good manners or respect. I don’t troll anyone, I get them to admit that they are wrong. Usually they are mature enough to admit that they were wrong. But I guess, this conversation took a bit of a dip. I find it ironic how you hate humans when you are one. Wow!

      8. – Sex and shitting/pissing is also natural. Why do we do that in private? I wish I understood better how these concepts of private things/public things developed. Then I would’ve been better at putting forth my reasoning why breastfeeding in public doesn’t look good to me.
        – I do dress for females, yes. Like many sexual beings on this pleasant, I care how I look to the attractive sex and I hope that by emphasizing good qualities I can gain positive feedback. I never got the ‘I dress for myself’. I don’t really see my shirt or my pants.
        – I agree that arousal from covering-up is my taste, but it seems to be a pretty common taste. It’s a reasonable explanation why sexy outfits are so common – there’s more to being sexy than nudity.
        – Covering up isn’t shaming. It means it’s inappropriate in a certain setting because it’s too attention grabbing. Flexing your abs in a funeral is inappropriate because it is a setting to pay respect for the dead and the grieving, not show off your good looks.

      9. Buddy I suggest you don’t even TRY and reason with her. They’ve been trolling me all day over the article. I think they run some silly fashion blog and they’ve taken serious umbrage at the article in spite of its mild outlook. I finally had to block them because they were cussing at me. I agree with your point totally but if you try telling HER that the dimwit will start insulting everything from your mother to your profession. Thanks for your comments and I really appreciate it!

  4. Nice ‘Article’. But, I could presume that your article criticises the ill conceived notions for which celebrities support the campaigns like #freethenipple. However, don’t limit your criticism to the actions or the support of the celebrities, there’s a larger picture; i know you’re aware of. Breastfeeding is a women’s right and at places it becomes difficult for a mother to feed her child at a public place. Imagine a situation, like in India where there are no designated places for her to do this. Celebrities with their ill notion promoting something doesn’t make the ‘cause’ wrong. Change is needed, it will not come automatically. It’ll take time. I commend the title you’ve chosen…Free your mind. But, i reserve some criticism for the ‘not the nipple’ part.

    1. Thanks Sajid! I think that’s probably the crux of the problem. When I said not the nipple, I meant the culture of wearing tassels and pasties or turning up in sheer clothes or provocative outfits that are counter-productive to the campaign. Even in a country like India Sajid, indeed, have you ever noticed a woman on the metro, or the airport or a park outside, any place in urban areas where a woman can freely expose her breasts and feed the child? Since I don’t come across that sight very often, except in rural areas, I’m assuming women must in fact be finding private places to do it. What I have an issue with, which I think you surmised yourself, is the media culture which thinks posting breastfeeding selfies is “liberating”.

      1. If this is what you meant – choosing to expose is not the way to go, okay. However, from your article and later comments it seems as if you were equating breastfeeding in public to exposing breasts/penis/vagina in public just for the sake of nudity and that seems to be moving backward. Women have breasts for the sole purpose of feeding babies and just because it is used as a symbol of sexual pleasure, I don’t think we should lose sight of the purpose. As an example of the difference, some hotel/restaurant in Las Vegas asked a breastfeeding mom to leave because it made people uncomfortable, some of the people who were uncomfortable barely had anything on in their upper bodies! Also, it really isn’t fair to ask people to feed their babies in a bathroom – would we eat in one? I would personally cover up, but it just may be that some babies/moms are uncomfortable with this and that should be ok. If you don’t want to watch, don’t but this is not nudity in the same sense as wearing revealing clothing.

      2. Absolutely Sajid. And nobody’s going to see a mother breastfeeding her baby and then loudly ask her to go to a bathroom. You’re grabbing the wrong end of the stick- breastfeeding as a function? Totally fine. Breastfeeding as a media gimmick? Nope!

  5. Reblogged this on HarsH ReaLiTy and commented:
    If everyone claims their definition of feminism is the only correct one… what definition do we go by? I find the infighting between feminist amusing as all get out. They throw the same accusations at one another that they do towards men. “You don’t understand feminism” is the weakest and most used shield today. If everyone has equal rights in your movement don’t WE also have equal rights to determine what feminism is for us? Think about it. -OM
    Note: Comments disabled here, please visit their blog.

  6. Am back….yaaay. Hmmm..@Maritza and @Kaitlyn, you both engaged Abby in what I call destructive criticism because she didn’t see your points. All she did was state her mind, Maritza you don’t have to get mad. This is a problem with females, we fight each other while the men laugh at us. Abby finally snapped and ya both let hell loose. There’s an adage in my language that translates thus, if you haven’t seen another person’s farmland, you think yours is the biggest. No one knows it all really, we come from different places, backgrounds, experiences, it doesn’t make any one superior or inferior. Our attitudes are what makes us inferior no matter where we come from. Sweet Passionate Abby now resorted to name calling, pls let us fight the men…(just teasing). But really mothers and fathers today have a great job of teaching sons and daughters about respect, for the other and for our bodies. Anyway, it is what it is, the world is crazy. On behalf of Abby, Super Sorry Maritza. And on behalf of Maritza, Super Sorry Abby. Hiaaaa. Men will fight each other and make up, women won’t. Feminism must start promoting that too. We can start a hashtag for that…what do you think? Didn’t you guys hear what chinamanda said, words feat in flawless Bey Video. “We see each other as competitors” but why? A feminist is bold, beautiful, intelligent yet humble. You can be a guru, if you lack humility like my father always say, you are an empty shell. We grow everyday, we learn, we become better than yesterday, don’t we want the world to be better? Let me see which one of you will display Feminist Values…Hmmm.

    1. Thanks Mary! I tried every tactic in the book to get them to be civil but I think after a certain point you have to stop negotiating with terrori- oops I mean bullies. Thanks for your views!

      1. Loolz. Abby you most welcome. The pleasure is mine. But you just did name calling again. Hahahaha. Don’t get exhausted playing nice. I know its your blog and all…Free your mindddddd……definitely not your nipple. Jajajajaja.

      2. I tried my best Mary! I really did! What can I say. Even I have my limits. My name-calling was limited to “get off my blog troll”. But they set the bar so high on the profanity I could never have topped it! But thanks for your intervention Mary!

      3. I know you did. Sending big virtual hugs your wayyyy….xoxoxoxoxoxoxo👍👍👏👏👏💞💞😀😀😘😘😘😃😃😇😇😊😊😊😎😎😎.

      1. I’m so glad you thought so- I had my mother up all night in fits of laughter. I just couldn’t believe what was happening. I hope more of my people read this OM!

      2. It’s one of the reasons why I get along better with men advocating for equality than women. Women have a way of weakening each other the way no man could!

    2. And Mary. As a law student advocating against violence against women, gender based inequality and child sexual abuse. Let me reveal a tiny nugget of wisdom : The reason women are oppressed is because of lack of support from other women.

      1. That’s a fact Abby, we can however be the change we want to see in the world. One tiny step at a time. Pushing each other up in all ways possible. Pleasure meeting you again Abby.

  7. My wife and I with a group of friends were in a Cafe Harbour side here in Sydney Australia, (last Sunday) a young family came in and the mother fed her baby we all laughed and smiled at each other it was the most natural thing you might expect here. Very discretely using a fringed shawl not right in ‘your’ face, it was a family thing among other families. Again I am probably too old and with too many more pressing issues such as a chronically ill wife in a wheelchair to be ‘man’ enough to duck the punches here.

    1. Andrew it took me a while to see what you were saying. It’s a thing between families and I totally agree with that. But surely you don’t think that the actual function of breastfeeding can be as feminist as nipple pasties and tassels, or putting up online pictures of breastfeeding?

      1. No I don’t. The image of this beautiful young family when compared with some of those abominations portrayed by so called Feminist just doesn’t compare. Breastfeeding in public has nothing to do with Feminists or feminism but with real life, though they will strongly disagree. It is beautiful and natural and is doing what was meant to be done. AND again they are mammary glands, we are mammals who suckle our young with milk it is how we are made. Don’t be offended because word order is not a strength right now – to make a Political Platform using such examples seems laughable to me and I don’t take women seriously as truly respecting equality and equity across gender and sex when as they show “that the actual function of breastfeeding can be as feminist as nipple pasties and tassels, or putting up online pictures of breastfeeding? ”

      2. Oh I agree with that. Believe me. I thought what you summed up so well was exactly the point of the article and that there was no questioning the sanity behind it. But I’m getting acquainted with the fact that not everyone who comments is sane. Thanks a lot for giving me your very well-thought feedback! I’ll be sure to check out more of your work!

  8. Hey there 🙂 As a woman I feel disgusted by all these so called campaigns, they tarnish us all and pornography seems like the only value these days. Nevermind those women who really made a change along the history by standing up for what was right, by breaking prejudices using their own mental capabilities and dedicating their life to change the world! I am sad to live in a sheep world…

    1. @Camelia I agree with you whole-heartedly. The thing is, these trends or fads tend to become very cool as more and more people mindlessly follow them. I don’t have anything against them campaign, but I fail to understand how they’re making a difference on the grass-roots level, apart from entertaining people. I’m really grateful for your comments! Keep visiting 🙂

      1. I am against these campaigns because girls who are still in formation don’t understand it and just follow because everybody does, that ruins an entire generation and I also agree with you, they’re just entertainment so it should be categorized accordingly 🙂 Thank you for your reply and I look forward to your next posts 🙂 Have a great day 🙂

      1. Thank you! You have no idea how much that means! I feel like I’ve been through the wringer with this one because of the subsequent nastiness. So I’m so relieved when I hear from kinder people like you!

      2. I saw it in the 60’s and 70’s, and it is still out there today. Women…we are our own worst adversaries. If/when we all calm down, there will be a meaningful dialogue. Be proud that you can stand your ground.

  9. You have the support of myriads Abha.kudos for maintaining your sanity and good sense amidst the chaos generated by a melange of ludicrous ideas.

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